


In the Winter

by roanapur



Category: Black Lagoon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Kiss, Minor Character Death, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:29:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roanapur/pseuds/roanapur
Summary: She steals a kiss, and then she's gone with the wind, not a single trace of her left.Maybe, in another life, this wouldn't have been the case.
Relationships: Maki/Washimine Yukio
Kudos: 2





	In the Winter

**Author's Note:**

> sigh
> 
> please point out any errors you seee thank youu <3

"Maki, can I kiss you?"

The question isn't asked on a sunny day, with the fresh summer air blowing through their hair. She doesn't blush or look away as she asks it, with her voice barely audible.

No, she selfishly requests a kiss in the biting cold of winter, with death at her heels.

This is not romantic in the slightest.

As airheaded as she is, Maki seems to understand this fact. Her eyes are filled with tears, her nose and cheeks red.

"Why now?" Maki asks - no, _accuses_.

"I think that's quite clear," Yukio responds, her face still straight. The tears in her eyes are held back by sheer willpower.

She will not cry in front of her clansmen.

Maki sniffles. "You couldn't have… you couldn't have asked me under better circumstances?"

"Would you rather I give you chocolates on Valentine's Day? Because I don't think that would work out very well, either," Yukio says.

"You can't just… you can't just ask something so selfishly, when you know you're never going to see me again!"

All Yukio does is blink. "That's exactly why I'm asking in the first place. Think of it as a farewell."

"Stop talking like that!" Maki pleads, grabbing fistfuls of Yukio's dark blue school uniform. "Stop talking like you're going to die! Stop acting so calm!"

Yukio raises her hand as she hears guns cock and Ginji draw his katana from its scabbard. Maki is simply an emotional teenage girl; she can't hurt her.

(Not with her fists, at least.)

"I've no choice but to be calm. I can't let them see me afraid."

Yukio almost laughs. Why is she explaining this to Maki? It's not as if Maki would understand.

It's not as if she _should_ understand. She prays that she'll never have to understand.

(But life won't listen to her wishes. Life is cruel; it's put her in this spot, after all.)

Maki lets Yukio go, letting her arms fall to her sides. The first tear finally falls from her eye, running down her cheek. A second, a third, a fourth follows, and soon Yukio's lost count of how many tears Maki has shed.

She puts a cold hand to her friend's cheek, gently wiping a tear off her face. Despite the weather, Maki's skin is warm. 

"If this is the last time we see each other, senpai…"

Her junior cups her face ever so softly, and tangles her fingers in Yukio's hair. Maki's lips meet hers awkwardly, with Maki turning her head to find the right angle. The way she kisses Yukio is shy, as if she's hesitant to go any further, as if she doesn't know where to begin.

Despite requesting this, Yukio is in a state of shock. This was something she could only dream of.

(Why did it have to come to this?)

Yukio tries to return the kiss as best as she can, leaning into it, and tilting her head slightly. Her junior's lips taste of cherry - her least favorite flavor, but she relishes it because it's the taste of Maki. She holds Maki's face in her hands tightly; she never wants to let go.

Their inexperience shows; it's far from the ideal kiss, but Yukio will take what she can get.

Maki is the first to pull away, her lip gloss smeared on the side of her mouth, her chest heaving with every breath. The tears are still pouring from her eyes, and her nose scrunches every time she sniffles.

Simply put, Maki is a mess.

(But she's in no place to judge.)

"Sorry for that," Yukio laughs dryly as she wipes her mouth. "I asked you to kiss me, and yet I have no experience."

"Don't apologize," Maki says, looking at Yukio with teary eyes. "At least my first kiss was with you, senpai."

Yukio's eyes widen, but she doesn't have time to dwell on those words as Ginji's calloused hand comes to rest on her shoulder.

"Miss, I think it's about time we should go."

She nods solemnly, giving Maki a smile one last time.

The three words that come out of her mouth are a whisper, but Maki hears them nonetheless. 

Her beloved friend drops to her knees, and begins to wail. The cry is full of agony, and tears through the silence of the night. 

Yukio pretends the sound doesn't rip her heart in half.

-

It's only when Ginji's bloodied katana falls to the floor does she realize her mistake.

She walks past his dead body ( _corpse_ , she reminds herself) and towards his katana, with its beaten-up hilt and chipped blade. The katana he wielded, just for her. The katana he dusted off, just for her.

And in the end, his efforts proved fruitless. All because of her selfishness.

Yukio can hear the female pirate plead Mr. Okajima to not watch, to not look, but she hopes he does.

(To hell with him and his hero complex, his comfortable spot in the twilight.)

She draws the sword back, and lines it up with her jugular. Her hands shake as they hold the hilt, but she grips it firmly. This will be painful, but it won't be agonizing.

The blade pierces her throat in one swift motion, her gray eyes widening as the excruciating pain takes hold of her. Her legs support her no longer, and she crumples onto the dirty ground.

She can barely see her own blood pool around her, turning the concrete a dark red color. Death is beginning to wrap its arms around her, like a snake constricting around its prey.

Yukio does her best to welcome it, but she wishes she could have seen Maki's smile one last time.

-

Sometimes, she finds herself waiting by the same shoe locker, despite knowing that's empty, that its owner will never come. Other times, it's the desk she walks up to during lunch, only to be greeted by a vase full of flowers.

(They're lilies and roses. Yukio's favorite flower was the daisy.)

Nobody mentions her blunders, and Maki is grateful for that. 

But at the same time, she also hates it so, so much. She knows why they're silent, but it hurts nonetheless. 

(It's as if Yukio meant nothing to them.)

The teacher is reading a passage from an ancient text, pausing after every sentence or two to talk about its meaning. Which ancient text? 

Maki can't remember.

(Yukio probably would have.)

She looks out the window. The cherry blossom trees are in full bloom, painting the schoolyard pink. Not only that, but the sky is clear as well. There aren't any clouds to hide the sun's radiance. It makes the cherry blossoms look even brighter than they already are.

It looks like something out of a painting. Yukio would have _adored_ this. She said spring was her second favorite season, right after summer.

Spring may have come, but it's still winter in Maki's heart.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you 4 reading pls leave kudos 4 ur local validation whore


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